Always a matter of tending to the children, or the adults who argue over petty things, or are to incompetent to get anything done.
Ugh, it was a good week, for the most part. I managed to pass my college Chemistry course with a 99%, which is like...awesome. But, there were the occasional moments that pissed me off beyond belief. Let me elaborate:
1. On Wednesday, our "job" after lunch at my school is to clean the area around the lockers. No big deal, right? Wrong. Anyway, a few days before our school's "secretary" told us that we shouldn't leave our backpacks lying around because it detracts fromt he school's image.
Now, let me first say this, good luck getting some more goddam people at my school. We have about 65 students, K-12, and it keeps getting smaller, not to mention stingier. Anyway, so I go over there right after the bell rings to put my backpack on the hook, and our teacher had already gone around and picked up my backpack. She comes towards me and I try telling her that I'll put it up right this very moment, but no, she has to take it into the office to try and "teach us a lesson" or some bullshit like that. So, I have to endure some ridiculing speech about not putting your backpacks on the ground. I walked in, picked mine up, and walked out without saying anything. You know, how fucking stupid can you be? I'm a senior in the school, this is my 4th year, I get the fucking point, and when I was right there, don't walk right past me, let me hang my shit up. Idiots. They could have avoided the whole situation altogether.
2. Today, just the typical bullshit that revolves around over-egotistical, pompous pricks. So My whole week has been Chemistry, except for Thursday when I met Lewis Black during a run-through of one of his plays. So, our weekly newspaper needs to go out on Friday. I did my main article, but since I don't have a study hall on Friday, I'm basically fucked for non-curriculars. I decide to skip lunch to try and get the damn thing done (front page, at least, because I wanted my article as the major article - it was an interview/goodbye for one of our teachers, so it should have been the main one). Anyway, I forgot to do my Photography project and so the teacher pulls all of us into the class to work on other persons' collages. I'm working away as the esteemed executive editor is relaying papers back to our Upper School Coordinator to "edit" the pages (my job, by the way). Then I hear him and his wife (the secretary) talking about how "[Name removed] is alone working on getting the newspaper out..." blahblahblah, what is Matt doing, etc. you get the point.
Now, I've been tolerating this behind-the-back pandering for a couple months now, mainly because our Upper School Coordinator likes to pick favorites out of our class of 5. "Whatever."
So, I'm just at the point of explosion when the editor walks in a pulls the pin from the grenade. "You owe me your ass, big time." is what he says. Now, of course, i'm at the point of explosion, so what do I do? I explode. "Fuck that. Fuck you. I'm sick and tired of this 'behind-the-back' bullshit that I have to live with week-in, week-out." ... "I hear [Name 1] [Name 2] talking about me, I'm not fucking deaf." etc. etc. You get the point. This was all with the photography teacher, my classmates, and a couple people too young to be hearing my words, but whatever, fuck it. what should have been done is we take a break, gather ourselves up, and then send it our on Monday in it's entirety, not some half-assed issued. But, that was his issue, and I can laugh at how shitty it is with his name plastered over everything except my article.
Gah, I hate having to hold everything back all the time, it's the fine line between morals and trying to get through to someone, and the occasional meltdown.
So, I just said, c'est la vie, and laughed. I'll deal with it later.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Thursday, December 7, 2006
Slap in the face:
It's funny how things can be turned around, just to satisfy a need - a desire. Maybe it's the certain morals that the government has invaded, such as my privacy, or how about the "freedom of assembly."
But for the initial point, it's more about corporate overhead, and people in general. You ever get that situation where you work your ass off for a promotion or something and a week later you see someone else get it "just because"? Well, that's what I'm faced with right now. About a year ago, I used to be staff at a site called Gaming Forums. It was a great place back when I joined, but started going downhill, and I eventually resigned. I did completely overhaul a forum's policy and process and when I left I was pleased to see I recieved "Advanced Membership" without asking.
Now, someone who was moderating another sub-forum finally left staff and asked for Advanced Membership. She didn't get it, but now she has after a few people started whining, and a "friend" in the administration. You may be saying, "well...maybe she deserved it." But, she didn't. She moderated the welcome forum, you know...those places where say "hi, I'm new, nice looking forum." Granted, she did moderate two other forums after I left, but she was doing that with at least 4 other moderators, when I managed my two myself.
Ugh, but typical bullshit. Hence, why I rarely go there these days, and actually love going 2 weeks without a visit.
But for the initial point, it's more about corporate overhead, and people in general. You ever get that situation where you work your ass off for a promotion or something and a week later you see someone else get it "just because"? Well, that's what I'm faced with right now. About a year ago, I used to be staff at a site called Gaming Forums. It was a great place back when I joined, but started going downhill, and I eventually resigned. I did completely overhaul a forum's policy and process and when I left I was pleased to see I recieved "Advanced Membership" without asking.
Now, someone who was moderating another sub-forum finally left staff and asked for Advanced Membership. She didn't get it, but now she has after a few people started whining, and a "friend" in the administration. You may be saying, "well...maybe she deserved it." But, she didn't. She moderated the welcome forum, you know...those places where say "hi, I'm new, nice looking forum." Granted, she did moderate two other forums after I left, but she was doing that with at least 4 other moderators, when I managed my two myself.
Ugh, but typical bullshit. Hence, why I rarely go there these days, and actually love going 2 weeks without a visit.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Observations for 11-15-06
Driving is a trip in this country, or at least, this state.
Today whilst driving back home, some moron is going about 20 mph getting
onto the highway. How does this happen? I have no clue, but we had to
pass him on the median to be able to merge properly on the interstate.
Incidents like this just reinforce my reasoning for not getting a license when
I turned 16. It's not necessarily stupid, just a huge risk. People are absolutely
mad on the road, old or young. Honestly I wished the layout of cities and
populations in America were more focused around cities and our public transportation
was not an abomination, but what can you do?
The interstates have a nice little thing that says "minimum speed: 40." Why is this?
People drive twice that speed on the interstates and people that go that slow are going to
get in an accident. It's a stupid rule that should be changed, along with the whole interstate structure. Let me explain:
* Raise the minimum speed in the right lane to 55 mph, change the minimum speed on
the left lane to 70 mph (the standard speed of highways, unless otherwise posted).
* Raise the maximum speed on highways to 80 mph, why is this? Cars are built to go 80-90 mph for long periods of time. Every car on the road (or...95%) can go that speed easily.
* Barriers along the median and info on traffic back-ups, sent to a phone or nav system if you will.
* Those reversable "rush-hour" lanes. You know, those ones that from 5 A.M. to 10 A.M. go towards town, and
from 4 P.M. to 7 P.M. go away from town. Brilliant idea, right?
* More public transportation and an overhaul to make them appeal to everyone, not just
having them go through all the poverty-stricken areas. Riding a bus shouldn't be a stigma of your financial status.
* Carpools don't work, but how about an "Ethanol-only" lane? Encourage some people to buy fuel efficient vehicles.
And this leads me into some whole other argument that I'll save for later.
Today whilst driving back home, some moron is going about 20 mph getting
onto the highway. How does this happen? I have no clue, but we had to
pass him on the median to be able to merge properly on the interstate.
Incidents like this just reinforce my reasoning for not getting a license when
I turned 16. It's not necessarily stupid, just a huge risk. People are absolutely
mad on the road, old or young. Honestly I wished the layout of cities and
populations in America were more focused around cities and our public transportation
was not an abomination, but what can you do?
The interstates have a nice little thing that says "minimum speed: 40." Why is this?
People drive twice that speed on the interstates and people that go that slow are going to
get in an accident. It's a stupid rule that should be changed, along with the whole interstate structure. Let me explain:
* Raise the minimum speed in the right lane to 55 mph, change the minimum speed on
the left lane to 70 mph (the standard speed of highways, unless otherwise posted).
* Raise the maximum speed on highways to 80 mph, why is this? Cars are built to go 80-90 mph for long periods of time. Every car on the road (or...95%) can go that speed easily.
* Barriers along the median and info on traffic back-ups, sent to a phone or nav system if you will.
* Those reversable "rush-hour" lanes. You know, those ones that from 5 A.M. to 10 A.M. go towards town, and
from 4 P.M. to 7 P.M. go away from town. Brilliant idea, right?
* More public transportation and an overhaul to make them appeal to everyone, not just
having them go through all the poverty-stricken areas. Riding a bus shouldn't be a stigma of your financial status.
* Carpools don't work, but how about an "Ethanol-only" lane? Encourage some people to buy fuel efficient vehicles.
And this leads me into some whole other argument that I'll save for later.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Fallacy
One word: Fallacy
1. a deceptive, misleading, or false notion, belief, etc.
2. a misleading or unsound argument.
3. deceptive, misleading, or false nature; erroneousness.
4. Logic. any of various types of erroneous reasoning that render arguments logically unsound.
5. Obsolete. deception.
Interesting word, huh? And one I'm growing some sort of affinity towards. It's a shame that in the world we live in today, there is so much deception, lies, and hidden personalities and natures. Sometimes I wonder why I feel like everyone needs some kind of epiphany.
About America:
Well, the Democrats won the midterm elections, but it's a siren's song for a true fix. The past 2 or 3 years have been hundreds of politicians sitting around not doing anything, while our country is thrown under a bus. We're fighting a war that can't be won, we're 8 trillion dollars in debt (as in...far beyond the amount of money in all of the U.S.), we have 8% of the world's population and we use up 30% of the energy, people buy big SUV's, even though petroleum is a dying resource.
*sigh* I basically see a country falling apart around me, simply for the reason that people are too lazy, or too afraid to adjust their lifestyles. We need alternative fuel, smaller cars, a government that provides for it's people, and open arms (this is aimed at whoever the fuck thought of this wall idea around Mexico). Teenage culture is an abomination and like every other generation's thoughts, "Will we really be able to run the country?" It's interesting to think that the counterculture of this generation are the people who actually want to make changes.
And then you get me: One individual trapped in a rubber room of deception. Everyone around me is in some competition, trying to compete with each other, with me, with people they don't even know. One person, in particular, has this urge to like everything I like, do everything I do, etc. I'm not in a competition, I'm trying to get to college and set myself up for life. It's so aggravating, but should I really risk throwing a friend away just to gain some personal space? Friend vs. Self - funny match.
I've got too much to do, too little time, and too many things riding on the decisions and performance of what I do in this span of being 16-18. Am I stressing out for no reason? probably...but I have to, I hate competition, but I relish it at the same time, not for winning, for the experiences learned, the pressure, getting the best out of yourself when you need it the most.
Take a look at the lyrics of Tool's Aenima, there are some interesting assumptions made from a nearly 10 year old song in there. "Fret for your figure, Fret for your latte" Oh, just go take a look, this song is amazing. Fantastic. Brilliant.
It's interesting, really, the fallacies we face, from bullshit, or whatever else. Typical. You know, there are so many good things in the world, and so many more than can be good. But, "It's a bullshit three ring circus sideshow" right? The messages we hear in today's world...goddam, why are people so gullible? The only way you can get anywhere is to really develop your own self-awareness, your own morals, your own way of living.
Take me for example:
I've never taken drugs, never smoked, never drank, never had sex, never been anorexic, never lusted over anyone. Am I Christian? Hardly. I'm Atheist, but does that mean I have to rage against society, start riots, kill Christians, denounce religion? I'm a highschooler, where's my 3 failed relationships, my slit wrists, my hair that covers my eye, my black clothes that hide me from the world? Where's my cigarette to wash away my sorrows?
I'll tell you where - nowhere, because stupid shit won't save you. The morals someone else lays out for you, the things someone else shows you, are not supposed to be gobbled up. You pick and choose who you want to be, not be a patchwork of others.
Anyway, I need to write some poetry...blah.
1. a deceptive, misleading, or false notion, belief, etc.
2. a misleading or unsound argument.
3. deceptive, misleading, or false nature; erroneousness.
4. Logic. any of various types of erroneous reasoning that render arguments logically unsound.
5. Obsolete. deception.
Interesting word, huh? And one I'm growing some sort of affinity towards. It's a shame that in the world we live in today, there is so much deception, lies, and hidden personalities and natures. Sometimes I wonder why I feel like everyone needs some kind of epiphany.
About America:
Well, the Democrats won the midterm elections, but it's a siren's song for a true fix. The past 2 or 3 years have been hundreds of politicians sitting around not doing anything, while our country is thrown under a bus. We're fighting a war that can't be won, we're 8 trillion dollars in debt (as in...far beyond the amount of money in all of the U.S.), we have 8% of the world's population and we use up 30% of the energy, people buy big SUV's, even though petroleum is a dying resource.
*sigh* I basically see a country falling apart around me, simply for the reason that people are too lazy, or too afraid to adjust their lifestyles. We need alternative fuel, smaller cars, a government that provides for it's people, and open arms (this is aimed at whoever the fuck thought of this wall idea around Mexico). Teenage culture is an abomination and like every other generation's thoughts, "Will we really be able to run the country?" It's interesting to think that the counterculture of this generation are the people who actually want to make changes.
And then you get me: One individual trapped in a rubber room of deception. Everyone around me is in some competition, trying to compete with each other, with me, with people they don't even know. One person, in particular, has this urge to like everything I like, do everything I do, etc. I'm not in a competition, I'm trying to get to college and set myself up for life. It's so aggravating, but should I really risk throwing a friend away just to gain some personal space? Friend vs. Self - funny match.
I've got too much to do, too little time, and too many things riding on the decisions and performance of what I do in this span of being 16-18. Am I stressing out for no reason? probably...but I have to, I hate competition, but I relish it at the same time, not for winning, for the experiences learned, the pressure, getting the best out of yourself when you need it the most.
Take a look at the lyrics of Tool's Aenima, there are some interesting assumptions made from a nearly 10 year old song in there. "Fret for your figure, Fret for your latte" Oh, just go take a look, this song is amazing. Fantastic. Brilliant.
It's interesting, really, the fallacies we face, from bullshit, or whatever else. Typical. You know, there are so many good things in the world, and so many more than can be good. But, "It's a bullshit three ring circus sideshow" right? The messages we hear in today's world...goddam, why are people so gullible? The only way you can get anywhere is to really develop your own self-awareness, your own morals, your own way of living.
Take me for example:
I've never taken drugs, never smoked, never drank, never had sex, never been anorexic, never lusted over anyone. Am I Christian? Hardly. I'm Atheist, but does that mean I have to rage against society, start riots, kill Christians, denounce religion? I'm a highschooler, where's my 3 failed relationships, my slit wrists, my hair that covers my eye, my black clothes that hide me from the world? Where's my cigarette to wash away my sorrows?
I'll tell you where - nowhere, because stupid shit won't save you. The morals someone else lays out for you, the things someone else shows you, are not supposed to be gobbled up. You pick and choose who you want to be, not be a patchwork of others.
Anyway, I need to write some poetry...blah.
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